I spent nearly 48 hours over three days with Theo this weekend. It was good for so many reasons – getting to see her, of course, but also getting to be an adult again, being someone other than the parent and household warden. Sometimes I forget that I’m funny and clever when my only audience is a few cats and a disdainful chinchilla, and it’s nice to be around people who can cut their own food.
The fact that Theo isn’t out leads to a number of Three’s Company-esque moments of panic/humor when we’re out in public, though. She was working with a large group, some of whom know, but many of whom don’t, and I kept getting odd stares and polite questions of what I was doing there, carefully phrased to sound innocent, even as they were dripping with curiosity. Every time I looked up, eyes full of honesty, and motioned to my camera. “I’m a photographer,” I’d say. “Theo let’s me take pictures so I can practice.” “Oh,” they’d respond, checking my face for any sign of betrayal. They never find any, because the best lies are kept out in the open, surrounded by truths. I *am* a photographer, and I managed to take nearly 2400 photos in those 48 hours – only 50 pictures an hour, but still almost one every minute I was there.
The days were long, and the nights were too brief for anything but a fleeting goodnight as we both passed out from exhaustion, but it was still nice to be able to touch. To spend so much time inches apart but not touching is a challenge for me. If you knew me in person, you’d be familiar with my hugs and kisses, as I prefer to maul my friends. (Thankfully, I’m small, so I don’t do too much damage.) I made great plans to attack her once we were alone, but rising at 4 or 5, and not getting home until 1 or 2, left me too shell-shocked to remember any of them.
Closets are small, but they do have some benefits. I’m learning to feast on the smallest of actions, and the lightest of touch: A smile in passing, a seat at her side. For a very loud person, I’m learning to speak quietly – well, quietER. I imagine I’ll never truly be there all the way.
For their part, the people around us seem content to see what we’re telling them to. The giant elephant in the middle of the room with a sign that says ‘mouse’ never quite attracts the attention I assumed it would. “Funny,” they say, “that mouse sure has big ears,” but then they drop it, as if it’s simply not interesting enough. I wonder if I’d drop it, too, if I were outside looking in. I don’t think so, but I suppose I can’t know.
As I was packing up to leave yesterday, Theo called me into her office in the back. We slipped away without attracting any attention, and locked the door behind us, and then fell onto the ground. She kissed me passionately, first on the lips, and then my neck, teeth bared and fingers tight against my skin. I couldn’t tell you if it lasted 5 minutes or 50, although I’m pretty sure we weren’t gone very long. Just long enough for desperately gentle kisses, and a sweet moment spent with her face pressed against my breast. “You’re so soft,” she said, almost falling into a dream.
And then we parted. She left first, and I double-checked myself and followed a few moments later. I pulled my hair around my neck self-consciously – there were little red lines where her teeth had bitten down, followed by lips and tongue. I said more goodbyes, and she hugged me like a friend, and then I walked out. She followed me out, but the parking lot was full, and so we stood, smiling and wanting until it was time for me to go.
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Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
